by AG (Florida)
Born into a Irish-Catholic family. Twelve years of catholic school. Was force fed the horror stories of abortion and babies trying to escape the doctors ripping forceps. I also grew up and matured. Realized the hypocrisy of the catholic church. When I was 19 and contracted my first UTI, I had a visit with my GYN. He prescribed my birth control and penicillin at the same time. The doctor nor the pharmacy ever warned me about the dangers of mixing the medicines. In 1990 pamphlets weren’t handed out with your prescriptions yet. I may have cured my bladder infection but I also got pregnant. As a 19 year old nursing student dating an unemployed surfer, I knew and always knew what I would do if I ever got pregnant. My GYN performed terminations but he was on vacation for 3 weeks. So I had to wait. I was still surfing, smoking pot and was the maid of honor in my sister’s wedding. My boyfriend of 2 years wanted to break up with me so bad. Not sure why. The whole pregnancy scared him away and away he went. Thanks to my Mother and my best friend who took me to the doctors office that morning.
There were christian picketers outside the doctors office that morning. Someone dressed as the ‘rim Reaper holding a scythe, people holding bloody baby dolls, screaming and brandishing signs. It was scary, I didn’t want to get out of the car. My mother put a jacket over my head, ran me into the office screaming “Fuck off” and giving them the finger. Inside I was already pre-registered and was lead into an inside waiting room. There were about 12 other women there waiting. The doctor was running late. To break the tension and put some of the ladies at ease I did a very quick stand-up routine. I could see so many different walks of life in that room; lawyers, cashiers, prostitutes, office assistants, Mothers, drug addicts, teenagers. I broke the ice for all of us, put a smile on our faces during our scary journey. I felt better and so did everyone else.
My name was called, I was lead to an exam room, changed into a gown. The doctor came in, did a quick exam, told me it was like removing a small tumor or lump of tissue. It took maybe 10 minutes. I cried. I screamed my boyfriend’s name. I knew it was the last thing of him that I had and I was a sad little girl. I cried because I had a broken heart. He was at home screwing his new girlfriend while I aborted our fetus.
They put me in a ‘recovery’ room for about an hour. I went home took and nap, got dressed and went out to a party. I wore black spandex pants and a crop top. Being 19, athletic and only about 7 weeks pregnant I hadn’t shown at all. The relief I felt, the weight lifted off my shoulders. Getting pregnant was like getting aids but pregnancy had a cure.
Thanks to my mom and best friend for being there for me and helping me. I was very lucky to have them both.
Today, 20 years later I am the mother of 4 children. I was a gestational surrogate for an infertile couple. I gave birth to twin girls the day before my 30th birthday. I enjoy being pregnant very much. I love babies and children. I also love the fact that abortion is legal!
Aug 10
19
by Georgina (UK)
I had an abortion yesterday and wanted to tell my story as this website helped me so much. I got pregnant from my first (and only) one night stand a month ago and the condom split.
As soon as I saw the positive pregnancy test, I started looking up peoples’ abortion stories online and all I found were negative stories about peoples’ ‘never ending guilt’. I started to believe that I too would feel the same after the procedure. When I found this website, I realised that all I would feel after would be relief. I’ve never seen anything wrong with abortion so why should I now because I needed one?
I’m not sure if its the same in the US, but I first called an NHS helpline where I spoke to a woman who advised me to either speak to my GP or a family planning clinic. She also told me that I would probably have to wait 3 weeks to have a termination on the NHS, which terrified me! I ended up seeing my GP the same day because it was easier, but regretted it afterwards, she was judgemental and didn’t seem to know anything at all about the abortion procedure. I would definitely suggest women visit a family planning clinic rather than their GP.
Anyway, she gave me a phone number for my nearest Marie Stopes Centre. I called the next day, had a telephone consulation with a nurse and got an appointment for the procedure just 5 days later. They talked me through my options, medical or surgical, and I chose surgical. They also offered me counselling.
So yesterday morning, my best friend and I went. All the nurses and staff were lovely. I waited for 15 minutes and then had a scan, which I didn’t look at. I was then taken into a room with reclining chairs and 3 or 4 other women. I only had to sign one paper then was taken in. I chose consouice sedation. They did an injection and I instantly felt very woozy, drunk in fact. It took about 5 minutes, but hurt alot, like extreme period pain. But it only lasted 5 minutes. The nurses and doctor were lovely, and chatted to me throughout. I was then taken back to the recovery room, given a cup of tea, biscuits and a heat pack where I sat for about half an hour before leaving.
After, I felt completly normal again. No exhaustion or nausea or hormones making it hard not to cry all the time and no guilt! Only relief.
Didn’t mean to make this so long, but I do hope it helps someone. Don’t read the negative propaganda, it works and tries to change your views on abortion and distort your mind. Make your descision for yourself and I promise, it’s really not that bad, I’ll have kids one day, but I’m ready now, especially with a guy I barely know.
Thanks abortion
Aug 10
19
by Hidden Name (Florida)
Having an abortion kept me financially secure enough to leave the abusive man who got me pregnant!
Thanks, abortion!
Aug 10
16
by SteelRigged, for http://www.janesdueprocess.org/
I spent my first year as a law student helping teenagers get abortions. I worked the phones at a small non-profit called Jane’s Due Process, which as far as I know, is the only organization in the country that helps teens navigate the judicial bypass process to get abortions without parental consent or notification. (You should Google it and make a donation right now.) I am now a volunteer attorney for them. It is righteous work. I am paranoid about telling people I about it. I often leave it off my resume.
Bill O’Reilly may snarl that the “left wing” is trying to silence him, but he has a TV show. Its people like me, and the girls I work with, who have truly been silenced. We are the ones who are staring down the barrel of a gun.
Everybody loves parental consent laws for abortion. They are an easy sell. Who wouldn’t want parents involved in the medical decisions of their daughter; and as the pundits are quick to point out the vast majority of teens approach their parents first anyway, so this law only affects a small number of young women. What that means in practice is that the only people truly affected are the people you would least like to see affected: abused teens, abandoned teens, and teen in situations of novel dysfunction.
Judicial Bypass is supposed to be the safety valve on parental consent/notification laws. It’s supposed to be a way for abused and abandoned teens to opt out. Of course, it’s often a spectacular failure. Several county and district clerks in my state flat out refuse to accept teens’ applications to speak to a judge: a completely illegal act. These are often the same people who accuse clinic staff of disregarding the various restrictive laws that have been woven like a web around them. There are also a fair number of judges in my state, who have publicly declared they will reject any applicant that comes before them, and then do so. (They are elected after all.)
The people who help, the clerks and judges who make an effort to listen before they judge, they don’t speak up much. Discretion, moderation, even humility about personal fallibility, are all anathema where abortion is concerned. If you can’t concede the ethos and pathos of the argument to those who “truly believe” it’s always murder, it’s best not to say anything at all.
The very first call I took at Jane’s Due Process (again: Google and money) was from a 17 year old who said bluntly, “My mom’s in jail and my dad’s in Iraq” she was living with her older sister who was 22, but the clinics were not allowed to accept the sister’s consent because she was not the legal guardian. Both sisters thought they could get either of their parents to consent, but there was a timing issue. My state only allows abortions up to 21 weeks. It routinely took two or three months for mail to circulate from the base address the girls had to the frontlines where their father was, and then back to them. Their mother, they said, couldn’t receive registered letters at all. So, by the time the permission form got back, a legal abortion would be unavailable. We set her up with a lawyer to try and get a bypass.
I received more than one call from grandmothers who had been turned away by the clinics. They had often been raising their grandchildren from the time they were toddlers. The parents were MIA, but the relationship was informal. They’d been allowed to enroll their granddaughters in school, to claim them as tax dependants, to get them vaccinated, to make every medical decision before this one, but not a decision about abortion.
These of course, were the easy cases. Abuse was much trickier. First off, though abuse was a reason for circumventing parental consent/notification, if a teenager admitted that she was abused, the judge was required by law to open a protective services case. This then triggered an investigation, at which time parents generally found out that she had gone to court and obtained an abortion. (Defeating the whole point of a bypass.) You might think that getting an abused teen out of the household would be a universally good thing, but these are older teens, 15, 16, 17, and the system hates them. There is no good place for older abused teens to live when they are removed from their family. Often they are sent to juvenile detention centers. Rarely is the effort made to ensure that they stay in the same school and receive the continuity of education that is necessary to graduate. They are low priority.
Secondly, these are kids who have survived abusive households for more than a decade and a half; they often think it’s normal. We were trained to ask these young women what the worst punishment they had received was. I still remember the 16 year-old who scoffed at that idea that she was abused and then when asked about punishment said “well, he once threw me through the bathroom wall.”
The last type of call was often from immigrant kids, who protective services would never consider abused, but who faced dire consequences if their families discovered their pregnancies. We had one Ethiopian 17 year-old, a girl with a full college scholarship, who faced being sent back to Africa, denied the chance to go to school, and “circumcision.” She was quite forceful. She told us about a beloved cousin, who when faced with the same situation had been persuaded to tell her parents by a “crisis” pregnancy center; the cousin was gone. Her parents had arranged for her “treatment” in Ethiopia and for her marriage there.
I even sent a girl to Kansas once; she was a marathon runner and a track star. She lost her period every year during training season and so really did not know she was pregnant until the middle of the second trimester. Her parents were hard core religious, and she knew that they would turn her out on the streets no matter what happened with the pregnancy. She didn’t want to be homeless.
None of these teens get to speak out, it wouldn’t be safe for them to. We get to pass laws that endanger their lives, but they can’t protest. I worked for them, tried to protect them, but have always kept a slight veil of anonymity because I’m afraid of the personal and professional consequences of doing the right thing, of talking about doing the right thing, in a world that bombastically declares it wrong.
I know I am helping the right-wing make something private into something shameful by being discrete. But I don’t have a T.V. show, I don’t have security guards, all I have is the residual fear that somewhere there is a man with a gun, looking for our office, who is absolutely certain he has the right to shoot me, because I help teenagers get abortions.
When in this “debate” do my deep convictions get honored?
