by Alissa (British Columbia)
I had a very positive experience with medical abortion (pills at home). I was so nervous about the pain and discomfort but was provided with more than enough pain killers (3 different kinds of varying strength) and I didn’t even feel the need to reach for the strongest ones. The doctor and nurses and counselor were all really great and comforting.
I had my boyfriend with me for most of the day; he brought me cupcakes, a smoothie, and other goodies, and he made me a wonderful lentil stew (though I had very little appetite). I acted sort of needy for the day but he appreciated being able to help.
I got the shot and the next day felt hungover all day (tired, a little nauseous, a little vomit in the morning, a little headache) — no big deal. Next day, I was really scared so, while alone in the morning, I relaxed my body and tried to release the fear I was holding. I told myself ‘I am safe’, ‘I trust my body’, ‘This is the right choice for me.’
I inserted and felt mild cramps after an hour (Ibuprofen before and then 2 codeine/T3s as I started to feel pain). About an hour after the second dose it was really happening and at first I wanted to just drug myself stupid but I am so glad I didn’t. I think I just had one codeine but I was still feeling quite a bit. I used my meditation training to help me ride the waves of sensation and observe, knowing that all passes and that I am safe. I laid straight out as if in a coffin (savasana in yoga terms) with piles of blankets and a heating pad under my lower back and over my feet and tried to just surrender. For about an hour or maybe two I laid there and my partner asked if I needed anything. After that I felt this huge sense of relief and I went to the toilet and noticed that it was over. I was free.
I was 18 when I became pregnant, about a year ago. I had been in a ~1 year relationship but broke it off shortly before finding out about the pregnancy. There was no fight, we just didn’t love each other anymore. I had been on the pill, so I feel I did my best to prevent pregnancy, and yet I had terrible luck. As a college student in a prestigious university, becoming pregnant during my freshman year would have ruined my life. I have so many aspirations that could never be realized if I had been sentenced to 9 months of pregnancy and a child. Furthermore, the mere thought of having something growing inside me when I didn’t want it was horrifying. I cannot imagine not being allowed to control my own body. I have always been pro-choice, and I am so eternally grateful to every pro-choice activist and politician!
by Cass (Massachusetts)
I have never once wondered whether getting an abortion was right for me. I knew from the bottom of my heart that it was. I was in the midst of a divorce from a verbally and physically abusive man who drank excessively and had spiraled into a really bad person since we had gotten married. As a Christian, I didn’t believe in divorce and had put up with more than I should have for longer than I should have. When I finally left him, it was the best feeling in the world.
But I made a mistake and let him suck me back in two months after leaving him. We met and ended up having protected sex. The condom broke, so the next day I spent fifty dollars to buy Plan B. But, as it turns out, Plan B is only eighty nine percent effective. I got pregnant.
When I found out, my heart sunk. I was depressed, heartbroken, and suicidal. I was just graduating from school and had no money, no job, and no support system. Every dream I had ever had of setting up a life for my children was shattered. More so, the thought of having a child with a man I didn’t trust, a man I feared would hurt me and my child consistently throughout our lives, was too much for me to bear.
I knew that I was making the right decision. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t a ridiculously hard and painful decision to make, but I knew and still know that it was the right decision for me. I have never regretted it, not even for a moment.
That being said, I live my life differently now. I live my life with a vivid sense that I want to be able to raise incredible children someday, and I want to be the best mother I can be. I am so thankful I had the right to choose what was best for me, and I will spend my life fighting for other women to have the same choice. My life has transformed drastically for the better since I had an abortion, and I am so thankful that when I do have children they will have a strong, loving, supportive mom rather than the mess of a person I was.
I have my reasons, the same as many other women/girls have for the abortion. I was too young, I wasn’t ready, he wasn’t the right boy/man to have a child with, he didn’t want a child, I couldn’t afford a child, I felt it would ruin my life, or I would ruin the child’s life, and I would never have a baby and give it away. I could have an abortion and live with that decision, but I could never have a baby, give it away, and hate myself for the rest of my days.
I have no regrets. Not one regret.
I wasn’t tricked into having “a procedure” like some of the anti-abortions that you read about online. No one “fooled me” into doing it. It wasn’t done in a back alley. I was counseled about what was going to happen to me physically, and emotional counseling was offered as well, before, during, and after.
I’m 53, and have a beautiful 24 year old daughter. I had her at 28 years old when I was married to a good man, and had a stable life.
If I were not able to have a child of my own, I don’t think it would have changed my mind on the abortion. Had I chosen to not have a child, ever, I don’t think it would change my mind on the abortion. The time for me to have a child was not when I was single, on my own, unstable, and trying to support myself.
I have no regrets in MY personal decision. Thank God the choice was available. My choice.
by Cary (New York)
I had a surgical abortion three days ago, I was only four weeks.
While most women usually find out around now, I knew within days that something wasn’t right. I am 34 years old, so I go on and off the pill to give my body breaks from the hormones.
Unfortunately, during the crazy time of moving house and dealing with a stack of family problems, I miscalculated days and fell pregnant.
I was divorced last year, and frankly, I am still in love with me ex-husband and am in intense therapy to cope. My life has been erratic since we split and I have not been in sound physical or mental health.
The baby’s father is not a support option and I have been struggling to support him since he was released from prison trying to get off his feet. He is ten years younger than me with no education and no steady work. While I have a stable job and reasonable income, these are not (to me) grounds for bringing a life into this difficult world.
The worst part, as I’ve read from others who find out inexplicably early, was the waiting. It took three sonograms before anything even showed up. My blood and urine confirmed I was pregnant within days, but there literally weren’t even enough cells to remove. The pregnancy was still vaginal and hadn’t even made it to my uterus yet.
I attended a facility in Manhattan and I cannot say enough wonderful things about the facility, from the desk workers to the medical staff. I opted for “twilight sedation”, all I remember is lying down like I was preparing for a usual exam then waking up in recovery only a few minutes later.
I had minor cramping afterwards which I took Advil for, and I will be on antibiotics for a few more days as part of ordinary procedure. The nurses advised two to four weeks of light bleeding is normal. My bleeding has been minimal, no more than two panty liners a day.
While I am unhappy about what happened, I am overjoyed to be a woman in a country that grants me the right to decide whether or not I choose to take on the life-long obligation of a child. Particularly when neither myself or the father are stable parents.
I am sharing my story because I know how much reading the experiences of other women posted with such a hard decision helped me. I may sound brave now, but I was completely petrified.
I know the only thing that will contribute to the rest of my healing from here forward is time. As someone who honestly does believe in my heart and soul that every experience in life occurs for a reason – I send divine love and cyber hugs to every other woman this reaches who is facing a similar circumstance. Always love yourself, always know that all of us are just a reflection of each other. Hold your head high and trust your heart.