I had an abortion my freshman year of college. It was NOT expected and I knew my family would freak out and it’s father was not the man that was willing to help out. I knew I could not give this child everything it needed, not even love, because the simple fact that he was not wanted made me not want to bring it to this world. Don’t get me wrong, I felt connected to it and I loved it, and because of that simple reason, I knew that it would not be right to bring it into a world of misery where it would suffer bc of our carelessness to not use protection.
I was 14 weeks along when I had the procedure done, meaning I didn’t take pills, I had to get the surgical abortion done. I sat in that room, while the doctor performed another abortion in another room and the girl was screaming her ass off. Scared the hell out of me! The doctor finally came in the room, explained that he was going to suck the fetus out of me with this vacuum-sstyle thing and that would be it. The first time he tried, it felt like a sharp pain, and I said I couldn’t go on, and he said if I wanted to be sedated I had to go to a hospital. So I made him go again and held my pain. Afterwards he sent me to this room with all these other women who had had abortions, and the nurse told me I would bleed heavily and gave me pain med prescriptions and let me leave.
I didn’t have ANY bleeding or cramps, just the intense feeling of tiredness. So I slept for the rest of the day. Thank God for my best friend for getting me through that.
I am now 21 and graduating from college in May. I am pregnant, but this time, my partner and I both wanted it and can provide for her what I couldnt provide for my first pregnancy. I am happy, because I would never have been where I am at now, but it took me awhile to accept it.
If you feel like you need to talk, talk. It’s a great way to not feel regret.