i want to be able to live in a world where women and girls have true choices

by Jodi (Maryland)

I was in a long-term relationship that had become long-distance when my then-boyfriend transferred to a different university several states away.  He’d lived all his life in one place and one state and wanted to experience something different, and also test his aspiration to become an engineer.   We continued to see each other, though much less frequently.  We always used contraception; I used a diaphragm as I could not tolerate birth control pills.  We had an obvious failure when I became pregnant.  We discussed at length the possibilities, and while we both knew that at a different time and place in our lives we would welcome the possibility of having a child, neither of us was ready for marriage or parenthood.  We both wanted to finish college, we both had goals we wanted to pursue, and we both felt strongly about being parents when the time was right and we were ready…emotionally, financially, and personally.  I know I was not ready to become a mother.  This was especially true given fairly profound problems within my own family, nevermind creating a new one.

I had an abortion at about 9 weeks, as soon as I could at that time (1981) and was utterly and completely relieved to be able to do it.  I received excellent care at the University Clinic I attended, and was completely physically and otherwise fine.

I now have a great career working with phenomenal people to promote the human rights of women everywhere, and also have two absolutely beautiful, amazing children whom I have the ability to nurture, raise, and provide for and to whom I strive to be the best mother I can be.

I have no regrets.  I would make the same decision at that time in my life.  I want to be able to live in a world where women and girls have true choices, and can make those choices free of coercion of any kind, from any source.

Leave a Comment