It’s a shame we’re expected to keep quiet about it

by Anonymous (California)

I’m 25 and I’ve had three abortions. One at 18, one at 20, and one at 22. The first two were the result of a very abusive relationship. The first gave me the courage to realize the situation I was in; sadly it wasn’t until the 2nd that I realized just how bad it was. I left, cleaned up my life, went to college and got a lot done in my life. Then I met a guy who had a daughter the same age my first child would have been. We started doing drugs together (mostly, he would do drugs and I would go over there to take care of his daughter because he wasn’t able to). We hooked up a few times, it was always safe except for one time. I thought I’d already ovulated so I didn’t take the morning after pill. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant.

I immediately scheduled an abortion for the following week. I went over to his house and laid down on the couch to cry. He got upset and told me it wasn’t worth crying over. He told me he could hardly take care of the kid he had, much less one I would be having. I told him I’d already scheduled the appointment.

He went with me but waited in the car. This time I just got the pills from an abortion clinic and took them at home. Two days later I was back to school and work. Not a huge deal.

I’ve since graduated from college and finally found myself in a healthy, respectful, sober relationship with somebody I would love to have children with eventually. The abortions were the right choices at the right times, and while I don’t think I will ever do it again, I certainly don’t regret any of them. The only thing that makes me sad is that it doesn’t feel socially acceptable to discuss them in public. I look forward to the day when when asked how she’s doing, a woman in line at the grocery store can be accepted for saying “I’m ok, its the anniversary of my abortion, but you know, I’m doing alright”. Abortion is very common, and it’s a shame we’re expected to keep quiet about it.

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