by A (Utah)
One year ago I found out I was pregnant at 24 years old. I was not in any serious relationship at the time and had slept with 3 different men in the past month, so I had no idea who’s baby it was. The one thing I did know however, was that if I didn’t even know who the father was, I was obviously not ready to be raising a child. It was a harsh reality check knowing there was a little human growing in me that I didn’t recognize. It was depressing as hell. I knew what had to be done, for my sake and the baby’s. I knew I wanted to be a great mom someday, not a mediocre mom today.
I called clinics around town and I found some private funding for the abortion. Clinical abortions were about $400 and the abortion pill that can be done at home was about $450 at the time. That was a lot of money for me at the time so I found help. My roommate even gave me $50 (bless his heart). I don’t exactly remember what the number was, but it was simple, like 1800abortion or something.. (obviously that’s not it, but my roomie had looked some information up for me and found the number).
Anyway, I went the the clinic, decided the best abortion method for me was the at home pill. I had a pap, so see if everything looked good and how far along I was. They told me I was 7 weeks, however I knew I was 5 weeks along. In Utah, they make you wait 1 weeks after the clinical checkup to have your abortion and they are supposed to make you watch a video “to help you understand what you are about to do” but really it was a scare tactic to try and persuade you into adoption. Utah is very very conservative. Anyway, I went back a week later, got my pills and info, took the first pill at the clinic and went home. I took the second pill around 8pm with some Vicodin or whatever pain killer was that they gave me, and by midnight I started having cramps. They were pretty painful, but nothing unbearable. I was able to fall asleep and I woke up about 2am with some serious cramps that were super uncomfortable, so I went and sat on the potty. In just like 5 minutes I expelled the little birth sac into the toilet, it was about the size of a golf ball, but gooey. I was pretty sure that was the last of it. Not a terribly large amount of blood either. After that I felt completely fine, my cramps subsided and I was able to sleep. The next day I felt AWESOME. Not pregnant, sick or tired anymore. I just felt like myself again and not like a stranger was living inside of me.
From that point on I think I realized I actually do want kids and I needed to make some changes in my life to get to that place where I could be a parent if another “whoops” were to happen. I realize that was my one get outta jail free card and I knew I never wanted to have to make that decision again. Sometimes when I would think about the situation I would be sad and cry, it was hard for a few months, but all the while I knew what I did was the right choice. Now I am in a healthy, committed relationship and we are working towards being stable, responsible adults together so that one day soon (we think within the next few years) we can have kids when we choose. I am SO happy with the decision I made, if it weren’t for my abortion I would not be the person I am today and I would not be with the amazing man that I am with today. I’m so happy with the way my life is unfolding and I have my health clinic to thank. I’m so grateful for my right to choose. Thank you abortion!