by Gabby (Dominican Republic)
I live in a country where abortion under all circumstances is penalized by the law, but this didn’t stopped me from making my choice.
My story begins when I was 23 and was dating the worst kind of man I could ever possibly encounter in my life. We had sex only once and that was all it took, even though he was wearing a condom. After that one encounter he began questioning me about my family’s finances, like if he was planning to become a benefactor from them or something. I found his questions to be very suspicious, he seemed to be overly concerned with our economic situation. Truth is this guy was of a lower social class than me, but I never saw this as something to worry about, until he became obsessed with my family’s money and future plans. That’s when I dumped him.
Unfortunately, I was pregnant and began experiencing a terrible morning sickness. I had never felt so b-a-d before. I can’t describe with words how terrible it was. I thought it was because I had quit smoking cold turkey, how wrong I was!
I told a friend my symptoms and he told me to take a pregnancy test, I took it to prove him wrong, but oh no! I was the one who was wrong and in a very big problem. As I said before abortion is 100% illegal where I live, so I was stuck. I would face jail if authorities discovered what I have done.
This whole situation felt like a movie, I didn’t even experience any emotion because I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. It just felt surreal. No way I had an embryo growing inside of me!.
Luckily for me, I owned the situation. I began researching online how to abort at home. I found the name of the pill I needed: MISOPROSTOL and instructions on how to use it. I knew I had to do it right or otherwise I could end up serving time in prison and worse yet… giving birth in prison. But, that was the least of my concerns at that point.
The only real problem was that I didn’t know where to get them and didn’t have the money. So I had to tell my mother the news, I was scared she would force me to keep this unwanted kid and worse yet to marry that guy. But she right away told me that I needed an abortion.
For some reason she didn’t want to get involved in the whole issue, maybe because she is a devout catholic, so she told me to call that guy to support me. I didn’t want to call him because I just *knew* that he was going to try to gain something out of it.
But I called him anyways…
Turned out I was right, he tried to get money from me to supposedly buy the pills, he also tried to get sex from me, in his own words “well, you are already pregnant so let’s take advantage of it”. He also tried to convince me to not abort, and each day had a different excuse for not buying me the pills.
The reason behind him disagreeing with the abortion was because he wanted my family to financially support him, in other words, he was looking to upgrade his social class. He was very shocked that my mother didn’t want me to keep the child nor getting married with him. It seemed like he had been hoping for my family to had a different reaction. In fact I’m almost sure he manipulated the condom and my pregnancy was planned by him, since he didn’t even express any surprise when I told him. He was hopeful that I would change my mind.
See he wasn’t too smart, he didn’t get money, sex and certainly didn’t convince me, not even for a second, to keep his child. At the end, my mother got me the pills, I followed the instructions. I felt violent cramps when I took the first dose. It was really painful. But it wasn’t as bad as I had felt the 6 weeks I was pregnant.
Once the embryo came out (yes I actually saw it), all pregnancy sickness vanished. I returned to be myself (hormones made me a miserable person). I was happy again. I gained love for my life like never before.
The whole abortion experience with misoprostol wasn’t nearly as bad as having to deal with a “person” like him. I risked my freedom and maybe my own life just for not having to deal with this man ever again. Also I was not financially nor emotional able to have that child. At the end of the day this kid was going to become a burden for me. I’m certain society was going to put a label on me, and the baby was going to be always considered a mistake.
I just couldn’t see myself being a good loving mother. I know myself and I wouldn’t have been able to stand the presence of them (the baby and the father) in my life. I have friends who chose to keep an unwanted pregnancy and turned out to be awful mothers. This is not what I want for me.
I have no regrets whatsoever. In fact I’m proud of myself. I learned a lot about my body and even change my perspective about parenthood, life and romantic relationships. Ironically, I think one day I will be a great mother thanks to abortion. I have engaged in helping women of my country to make the choice.
I shall embrace this lesson for the rest of my life.
PS: It’s your body and it’s your life: don’t let men in government dictate your destiny!