Nothing to be afraid of

by Sera (NY)

When I found out I was pregnant, I knew immediately I wouldn’t allow the pregnancy to continue. I didn’t feel sad or desperate to end it, in fact I felt perfect peace with my decision. I was raised in a family, church and community that don’t subscribe to the idea that a fertilized ovum is a human being, so I never struggled with feelings about “killing a baby.” There were so many practical reasons why I shouldn’t continue the pregnancy, but the most important reason for ending it was the emotional one; even though I desire to have children one day, not one single part of me desires to have a child now.

I had never had an abortion before and I was really afraid about the pain. I was also nervous about the protesters. I recently moved to a very conservative area and I constantly see anti-reporductive choice protesters picketing many different clinics.

It turned out I had nothing to be afraid of on either of these accounts. There were no protestors the day I went to the clinic. At the clinic the staff was friendly and kind. I had an ultrasound and a blood draw and met with a counselor. Up until this point I was calm and comfortable about everything. When I went into the procedure room, I became very nervous. I was so afraid of the pain I expected. The doctor and a nurse came into the room. The nurse was the most lovely person, she could tell I was nervous and was very kind and comforting. The I received sedation through an IV, and although I could notice a difference, it pretty much just felt like I’d had a big glass of wine. Then the procedure began. The shot stung a bit. Then I felt some tugging and at one point I felt what seemed like a weak menstrual cramp. And then, after little more than a minute, it was over. At first I was confused; there was no way it could be so short and so painless. I had to ask twice before I really understood that I was done. I was told everything went fine and that I was free to go.

I had worried for nothing! I am so glad that I had access to such a great clinic with a wonderful doctor and excellent staff. I’m glad I live in a country where I am fully in control of my reproductive health.

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