One mistake

by Marie (Nevada)

I got pregnant in high school at 16, by a boyfriend I was with for about 4 years in total (11 months at the time). I remember feeling so numb when I found out, it was as if everything around me stopped. It was all I could think about, and all I could do to try to hide it from my parents. I was so completely ashamed! My sister had gotten pregnant in high school (twice!) and could not adequately care for her baby. Her careless mistake had already become a heavy burden on the family and I couldn’t imagine doing that to my parents.

I honestly never felt any sort of emotional attachment. This was something that I looked at as a problem that I needed to somehow figure out and fix on my own.

I went to a local clinic and while they repeatedly made sure I wasn’t being pressured into this decision, they really made me feel less like I was the only girl who has ever found herself pregnant in her teens. Sometimes it feels that way.

My boyfriend was pretty emotional about it, but at the same time, he had big military plans and wasn’t about to change them for anything. He did have a bit of the “women belong barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” type of mentality. Even though we did stay together for another 3 years after my abortion, I never had feelings of regret or any “what if…” moments.

I did have some friends who found out and really bullied me mercilessly about it. The pregnancy itself was embarrassing, but for some reason, getting the abortion was almost empowering. It felt good to know that I had control over my life, my decisions, my reproductive health. I could decide what happened next and just because I made one mistake didn’t mean I was doomed to pay for it for the rest of my life. I can only imagine how much having a baby would have held me back, even today! Its nearly 10 years later and I’m married to a wonderful, loving man and we still have put off the decision to have children. There’s so much I want to accomplish that I know I never would have been able to if I didn’t have an abortion.

I got pregnant in high school at 16, by a boyfriend I was with for about 4 years in total (11 months at the time). I remember feeling so numb when I found out, it was as if everything around me stopped. It was all I could think about, and all I could do to try to hide it from my parents. I was so completely ashamed! My sister had gotten pregnant in high school (twice!) and could not adequately care for her baby. Her careless mistake had already become a heavy burden on the family and I couldn’t imagine doing that to my parents.

I honestly never felt any sort of emotional attachment. This was something that I looked at as a problem that I needed to somehow figure out and fix on my own.
I went to a local clinic and while they repeatedly made sure I wasn’t being pressured into this decision, they really made me feel less like I was the only girl who has ever found herself pregnant in her teens. Sometimes it feels that way.

My boyfriend was pretty emotional about it, but at the same time, he had big military plans and wasn’t about to change them for anything. He did have a bit of the “women belong barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” type of mentality. Even though we did stay together for another 3 years after my abortion, I never had feelings of regret or any “what if…” moments.

I did have some friends who found out and really bullied me mercilessly about it. The pregnancy itself was embarrassing, but for some reason, getting the abortion was almost empowering. It felt good to know that I had control over my life, my decisions, my reproductive health. I could decide what happened next and just because I made one mistake didn’t mean I was doomed to pay for it for the rest of my life. I can only imagine how much having a baby would have held me back, even today! Its nearly 10 years later and I’m married to a wonderful, loving man and we still have put off the decision to have children. There’s so much I want to accomplish that I know I never would have been able to if I didn’t have an abortion.

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