Opportunities thanks to abortion

Annie (Maryland)

I was 17 and just about to start my senior year in high school when I found out I was pregnant.  I didn’t know what to do, and the father told me that we would have to get married if I decided to go through with the pregnancy.

I decided to have an abortion because I knew I wasn’t ready to get married, especially not to him.

Unfortunately I lived in a state with parental notification laws, so I had to travel to a neighboring state to have my abortion.  Eight hours in the car that day, four hours there and four hours back.  I felt only relief after the abortion and the guy broke up with me right away afterward.

I love my current life.  I wouldn’t have the same life if I had went through with the pregnancy (whether I placed the child for adoption or chose to parent).  I am grateful I live in the United States and that abortion is still legal here.  I do not want to live somewhere where I wouldn’t be able to make a choice about my own body.  I don’t think abortion is the right choice for everyone, but I believe that women need to be trusted to make the choice that is right for them, in their own best interests.  I know it was the right choice for me, and I can’t imagine how different my life would be right now if I had continued my pregnancy.  I am currently in my senior year of college, about to go on to grad school to be a social worker.  I feel I have these opportunities because I choose abortion.

Thanks, abortion.  I really appreciate my life!

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I was happy to have found this site before I went in

by Flower (Victoria, Australia)

I had an abortion today. I was very scared and a little bit sad about the whole situation. I had done some research and was sad to see that most of the stuff was from pro lifers. I was happy to have found this site before I went in.

I had my appointment early in the morning and my boyfriend drove us there. We were a bit worried about protesters and when we got there they were only just starting up so we weren’t too harassed. There was a security guard waiting for us and he apologized for the protesters and led us in. Everyone was kind and friendly and there were lots of people there already. I felt better knowing that other people were going through this too. I was surprised to see the majority of women were there with partners and were about my age which is 23.

The reason I chose to have an abortion was because I am not ready to be a mum. Not financially, not emotionally. I love kids and am excited for when the time comes. But me and my boyfriend knew it wasn’t right to bring a child into this world when we are really not ready.

First I saw the doctor. He was really nice and asked a few questions. Then he did a quick ultrasound. It literally lasted 2 seconds and he confirmed my last period was 6 weeks ago. Next was the counselor. She was lovely and just asked me questions and was agreeing with everything I was saying. It really made me feel better knowing that I was making the right choice and that it’s ok. She also said the protesters outside were ‘wicked’ and they all hated them in there. Then I had to wait in a special waiting room for the procedure. I was taken to a change room where I had to put on a gown. The anesthetist came and had a chat and was really nice and then they took me to the theatre. The nurse and anesthetist chatted to me and I began to feel sleepy. He said I’d be asleep in 30 seconds and the next thing I remember is waking up in a ward. The nurse came over and just told me where I was and gave me some pain relief. I had some cramping but nothing worse than period pain. There were about six other girls in there. All were in different stages of conscious. After about half an hour they took me to a room where I had tea and biscuits. The counselor was there and she chatted a bit and then me and my boyfriend left. We left out the back because the protest had gotten huge. I find it really horrible that they harass women like that. It’s a hard enough decision and I really felt awful before.

I’m at home now and feel so much better! I have no cramps and the queasiness I had from pregnancy is gone. I’d love to tell anyone who is feeling scared, it’s fine! Of course it’s scary and sometimes sad but the people are lovely, there is minimal pain and obviously any reason a woman is having an abortion is a good one.
That’s my story. Thank you abortion!!

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It was the right decision for me

by Guest (NY)

I found out I was pregnant during my second year of a PhD program. I was going through a lot of stress, personally and academically, and made some stupid decisions, including having unprotected sex with an ex-boyfriend.

I was almost seven weeks pregnant when I had a medical abortion. I was curious as to what I would expect in terms of cramping and bleeding, so I read stories on the internet and talked to a friend who had had a medical abortion. “You’ll want to die, the cramps are so bad.”

I didn’t. I took the misepristone at home around 9 in the morning. I was prescribed Tylenol with codeine for the pain and instructed to use it before inserting the misepristone, but opted for another form of pain management that also helped the nausea that I’d been battling for weeks (first from the pregnancy and then from the Mifeprex).

I started bleeding around 10 am. I had about 25 minutes of mind numbing cramping; I was sitting on the toilet passing huge clots and throwing up into the bathtub. I was also having diarrhea. After about half an hour I cleaned myself and the bathroom up and curled up in bed from the exhaustion. I continued to have cramps like the worst day of my period but was able to fall asleep.

I slept for several hours and woke up feeling much better. Still nauseous, still diarrhea, still heavy bleeding like the heaviest day of my cycle with some small clots (I was using 1 pad about every 2.5-3 hours), but functional. I took a Tylenol with codeine at this point, which made me drowsy and unable to concentrate on school work. Instead I called a friend to talk and hang out, which was great to be able to talk about other things and keep my mind off of the awful experience that morning.

I don’t recommend doing it alone, like I did. I had someone who knew what was happening and I was checking in with her in case of emergency, but I thought I’d want to be home alone. I definitely wanted the privacy, but having someone to get water and clean up after me would have been better. I cried when I was cleaning vomit out of the bathtub because I was so exhausted and sick feeling.

Overall, though, it was a relatively painless (the cramps were never something I didn’t think I could handle; I’ve had worse period cramps once or twice) and very private. It was over quickly and I felt normal like I hadn’t in weeks. I really want children, and at 29 had some guilt about not being “responsible” enough to have a child, but I knew this was a different form of taking responsibility for myself and for the children I would have in the future. It was the right decision for me.

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Got back the right to focus on making myself a whole, functioning human being

by Sunstorm77 (WA)

At the end of 2006/beginning of 2007, my short-lived marriage was falling apart.  Not that it had ever been idyllic, but now it was just disintegrating and nobody seem to have the energy or desire to do anything about it.  We decided by the end of January that we would take a break and see what we wanted to do in a few months.  We also decided that he would be the one to move out of our apartment because he had friends he could stay with and I did not ; he also made more than me and could afford to move if that’s what it came down to.  Despite the fact that I was the one saying it wasn’t working (he didn’t seem to realize it yet), I was devastated.  We’d moved to Washington to explore and conquer this place and make it our own together and even though I’d know our relationship wasn’t perfect, I’d thought the adventure we’d have together would be enough for us.

During this time, I was also dealing with a recent diagnosis of acute scoliosis and osteoarthritis through most of my body.  I had (and still have) spinal chord deterioration in my neck and lower back and stomach issues related to nervous system problems, and was told that I have the bones of a 60 year old (I was 29 at the time).  Also, though I did not yet know it, I was dealing with post traumatic stress from an abusive childhood.  I was making, at the time, about $800/mo and could not live without a roommate.  On top of all this, I had never wanted to carry a child; a lifelong proponent of not bringing new children into the world when there are so many already here just waiting for loving families, I’d always thought I would someday adopt or foster, but giving birth had never been part of the equation.

So when I found out I was pregnant, I freaked.  I knew I was late and at first kept trying to blame it on the extreme stress I was under, but even so, I knew the truth and finally, after two weeks, I bought a home pregnancy test.  I was IMing my best friend, who lives in Oregon, and she was encouraging me to get the test so I would at least know for sure and could figure out what to do from there.

Sure enough, the test came back positive and I knew it wasn’t false.  I went into panic mode.  She almost instantly threw her 10 month old daughter in the car and drove five hours to come sit and stare at the wall with me for an entire weekend.

Deciding to get an abortion was not a difficult choice for me.  I struggled with the idea of a surgical abortion, but as soon as a friend mentioned the abortion pill to me, I knew exactly what I was doing and didn’t think twice about it.  Not having any money, knowing that I was not emotionally stable, that I didn’t want a baby and the toll that pregnancy would take on my skeletal structure made it clear to me that this was the absolute best thing to do.

I went to Planned Parenthood and I won’t say that my interactions with some of the staff there wasn’t frustrating (at one point, I said something one of the NP’s didn’t like and she went off and left me alone in her office for 30 minutes before I finally went looking for her, only to be snapped at and instructed to return to my seat), but the abortion itself went more smoothly than anyone could have expected.  They had warned me that I could bleed for a month, yet when I went back for my follow up appointment a week later, I had been done for two days with a minimum of cramping and not a single complication of any kind.  I was also fortunate to have had a lot of support – in fact, not a single person who knew what I was doing judged me harshly for it.  My boss, who is like a mom to me, gave me an entire week off work to deal with it and sat me down and told me “Don’t you regret this – I never regretted mine when I was in almost the same situation as you and this is the only thing you can do.  It is the best thing for both of you because there is no reason you need to go through hell to bring an unwanted life into this world.  We already have enough of that, don’t you do it too.”

Getting the abortion gave me back the right to focus on making myself a whole, functioning human being.  This is an opportunity I would not have had if I had chosen to keep the baby because I would have had to put the priority on them instead.  No woman should ever be forced to have a baby when they’re busy coping with their entire lives falling down around their ears.  Thanks, abortion!

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Definitely knew it was the right decision

by ND (United Kingdom)

I found this website before I went for my termination and I found it extremely helpful!

Im 22 and in a great relationship, however we both werent ready to be parents. My doctor was very nice when I went to see her and referred me to Marie Stopes clinic. I had to wait a couple weeks for a suitable appointment but that wasnt a problem. My boyfriend came with me and that was great for support. The nurses I saw were absolutely lovely and made me feel very comfortable. I had concious sedation so did not remember a thing, which is how i wanted it. When I was totally awake I did not feel depressed or sad I was quite relieved and happy… So I definitely knew it was the right decision at this point in my life. If it had been a few years later in my life I wouldnt of needed a choice at all but im so glad I had one.

Thanks for this site the stories helped me get through my experience without worrying!

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