I cannot imagine NOT having this choice

by yellow bird (US)

Hello everyone!

Firstly, let me express my gratitude to have found this amazingly positive site on the subject of abortion! Wow. 🙂

Anyway, what follows is my story. I think that many will find this story to be somewhat similiar to what they have experienced. That is what is truly so positive about this situation: you don’t have to be alone, even if your support is through the internet! And, on top of that, a lot of the stories are frighteningly close to one another.

My period is usually quite regular: 34-36 days apart. Besides this knowledge, I usually keep really great track of my periods and have tried to put my finger on being able to tell when I am ovulating and going through different stages of my cycle just by what particular day I am on and paralleling that to what my body is telling me.

Well, on this time around I got pregnant. The ironic thing is I hadn’t kept track on this particular cycle! The irony is almost scary to be perfectly honest. I was sort of waiting for my period to come and knew it should be coming up really soon (just from sort of estimating when I had gotten my period the last time). Then one night I woke up and just KNEW that I suddenly was. I was freaking out and calmed myself after a few hours. I was spending the night at my parents’ house because my car was in the shop (I currently lived with my boyfriend). I knew that I had a box of pregnancy tests in my closet and told myself to take the last one in the box when I woke up before I had to go to work.

In the morning I went to the bathroom as quietly and discreetly as I could, peed on the stick, took it back to my room and waited. When it came up positive I just sat on my bed and STARED at the thing. I just couldn’t believe it.

This was on Thursday, June 3rd, 2010. I was (and am, this was only a few weeks ago) only twenty-one years old and in University. On top of this, my boyfriend already has two kids with two different women and is seven years older than me and can barely afford to financially support them. With all these facts piled up, this was absolutely the LAST thing I wanted.

I told my boyfriend that day and we talked about keeping “it” (I don’t like to use that term but I can’t really come up with another one) for a few days. Then one day I brought up the possibility of abortion. My boyfriend and I are extremely pro choice but always thought in the back of our minds that if it happened to us that we wouldn’t be able to go through with an abortion, so I was afraid to tell him my change of heart. But, luckily, he agreed! It made the process easier.

I went to a Planned Parenthood 50 minutes away with my boyfriend a week and two days after coming up with the positive test. They were extremely nice and made me feel welcome. I took their free pregnancy test and it came up positive and after I left I called and made an appointment for a medical abortion (since I was early enough). The lady called me back and said to come in the upcoming weekend to begin the process.

I was extremely nervous all week. I could not and cannot tell my family because they do not agree with abortion: they are very pro life. I am still unsure how they would react, though. Part of me thinks that they would end up understanding that this was the better choice for my life and that accidents do happen.

The past week was EXCRUCIATINGLY slow. I was so nervous and extremely sick feeling everyday because of being pregnant. I just wanted it to be over! What made things worse was that my boyfriend, four days before the medical abortion was scheduled to begin, said he couldn’t pay for his half because he felt like he didn’t agree with the abortion anymore. I got extremely angry and walked out in a rage. I just couldn’t believe it. He said he would be there for me when I was aborting and emotionally afterwards, but that he “couldn’t put his money towards something he didn’t believe”. It all seemed contradictory to me.

The two days before the day of my medical abortion I was to go with my parents, brother, and his friend to see a play a few states away. I was relieved to spend time with my family a few days before the abortion, even if I couldn’t be honest to them about it. I didn’t really talk to my boyfriend before I left. I was too upset.

The trip was great and it took my mind off of my situation. It was just lovely. I got to think a lot on the drive there and back. I have only lived with my boyfriend since May 1st, and lived at school only this past semester, but miss being home so much. Living at home makes me feel peaceful and happy and gives me space to think and create and read, which is basically what I do in this life.

It is funny because the past month of living with my boyfriend has been turbulent and we have not been happy. I planned on moving out right before I found out I was pregnant. The week after I found out I told him my feelings and he agreed. Now that it is all over, I will be moving out over the next few weeks. My boyfriend and I are just going to see what happens to us. It sounds negative but it isn’t. We both know it is the best for us.

So, the day of the medical abortion, three weeks and two days after I “came up” pregnant, I was ready. I talked to my boyfriend and we agreed to disagree and went back to Planned Parenthood. They were, again, extremely nice and helpful. They took a sonogram and determined I was seven weeks pregnant and that I could go through with the medical abortion. They took a blood test and I talked to a really lovely counselor about my decision and she explained the whole process to me. She gave me all these papers that said exactly what to do and what to expect. I had read a lot online and already felt confident in my knowledge.

Then, after that I went upstairs and saw the doctor. She gave me the single pill, Mifiprex, in the office. This terminates the pregnancy (as I understand it). She gave me codeine for pain and a week’s worth of antibiotics. Again, she was extremely nice and emphasized that the 24 hour Emergency Hotline is there 24 hours a day for a reason! She was great.

My boyfriend and I went home and just sort of hung around. On the way home he said he felt too guilty not to pay for his half, MUCH to my relief! I was extremely nervous about taking the second set of pills, the misoprostol, but I figured I would read some stories online to feel better.

All I found was horror stories! I was freaking out! I had a panic attack for over two hours. My boyfriend called the hotline just to get information to calm me down. After that, though, I slept like a rock.

The next day, which as I’m writing this was yesterday, I took my anti-nausea medicine and a half an hour later I took the four misoprostol. This was at 1:20pm, twenty-four hours after they gave me the Mifiprex. After a half an hour of them dissolving in my mouth I swallowed what was left. Immediately afterward I started having cramps. I took some codeine right away.

The cramps escalated over the next three hours. I had a lot of diarrhea and felt very ill. I started bleeding at 3:10pm and it was somewhere between light and moderate. The doctors said to expect lots of clots but that didn’t happen with me at all. The cramps were AWFUL, though. I will not lie about that, or anything else. BUT THEY DO END. Here is what happened to me.

I went back and forth from my bed to the toilet to the shower. I felt so sick that I thought I might pass out a few times. But my boyfriend was there and gave me water and support and helped me from one place to the next. At around 4:15pm the cramps were coming in waves but I had them under control. Around ten to five these thundering ones came and I laid down on the bed on my back while my boyfriend massaged my uterus in a downward motion.

Then it came: three rushes. Right around 5 o’clock.

The cramps subsided very quickly and I just felt extremely exhausted and I let out some very relieving tears. I checked my pad and there was a lot of clearish liquid that smelt very fishy and a little clear-ish ball that I think may have been the “it” I spoke of earlier.

I laid in bed and listened to tunes for a few hours, going in and out of sleep. Then I was HUNGRY. My boyfriend made me some oatmeal and we watched some movies to pass the time into the night. I was bleeding a lot after the passing: about one regular pad every two hours. The blood is a regular looking red with brown spotting throughout.

I slept very well last night and got up and found this website. I pray that I will be alright in the upcoming weeks! My check up appointment is next Saturday morning at Planned Parenthood.

I want to conclude with just letting any woman who is reading these stories know that an abortion doesn’t have to be full of nasty and terrible feelings. I feel a bit sad of course, this situation was very complicated and scary, but I know it was the right choice for me. I cannot imagine NOT having this choice. I am SO thankful.

To all women dealing with this situation and any situation specific to woman’s experience everywhere: all the LOVE and DREAMS in the WORLD to you.

Posted in Stories by ThanksAbortion.com. 2 Comments

Felt Renewed

by Fyre (Georgia)

I found myself spending a lot of time with a guy friend of mine. I had just broken up with my longtime boyfriend and I was lonely, mostly, and I craved the intimacy I was suddenly without.

One night, my friend and I were hanging in his dorm room, and we had started to make out. He started to push past that, but I wasn’t ready. I tried stopping him twice, but I didn’t leave, for fear of being alone again. I wish I had left though, because he raped me that night.

After weeks of exhibiting symptoms of pregnancy, I went to my school’s clinic and found that I was eight weeks along. I knew I couldn’t just ignore the problem. I was afraid to have an abortion, I had no intention of keeping it, so I stayed in that limbo for a few days, knowing that everyday my monster’s child was growing.

My mother came and drove me the four hours home to the clinic nearest our house that performed abortions. Despite my sadness, I was amazed with what I saw. The entire place was populated with women, all here for different reasons. And every stage I went through, from signing up to laying on the table, was run by a woman. I had a female doctor, and because I had chosen to be awake, there was a lovely woman there to hold my hand. I kept my eyes on her, and we talked through the pain, and she wiped away my tears and told me I was doing wonderful. I remember her the most, because she was so beautiful and kind.

In the ultrasound before, they told me and showed me that I was ten weeks along. Then, after a few moments, I was empty again. For a couple of days, I felt empty, but the last of sadness left me, and I felt renewed, knowing that now if I did choose to have a child, I could do so in my own time, happily.

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When I’m good and ready, and not by accident

by ADayInThePark

Here’s my story… I hope it helps

I’m 21 and going to graduate in May from a great university. I found out I was pregnant about 4 weeks ago, and chose to have an abortion 2 weeks ago. I was 6 weeks along.

So I went to the clinic, saw the sonagram of the fetus. It looked like a tadpole. I decided to go through with the abortion.

The abortion itself involved a small needle through my arm to sedate me. I passed out, so I don’t remember the actual procedure, but when I woke up, the tadpole was gone and I could go back to life as usual. The only pain I had was in my arm from the needle and some occassional tummy cramps.

Now I feel a little guilty, but not because of my decision to abort. I have not told my mom or anyone else who knows me. I feel guilty for keeping secrets from them, but I’m not clinically depressed or anything.

Maybe with more emotional support, like from friends and family, this would be easier for me. But I stand by my decision. I’ll have a baby when I’m good and ready, and not by accident.

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Totally fine with myself and am still happy with my choice

by New2This1 (posted here)

I had a medical abortion a last week ago. The reason why I am writing this post is because before I went, I went onto the internet to read about people’s experiences and to be honest it scared me to death.

It’s a bit weird to explain an abortion as a positive experience because of what is happening but basically I just want to share my story for women who are about to or are thinking of going through an abortion and want to hear the other side from the ‘horror stories’.

First and foremost I would say to everyone that an abortion is a huge decision as you all very well know and it is a decision that could potentially change your life as having a child could. Therefore it is so important that you feel very sure about your decision and that it is not something you are forced into or away from. If someone is forcing you against it then just think to yourself… who is going to go through all the changes that pregnancy brings? Who is the one who will have to deal with the emotions that come from having an abortion? You! So it must ultimately be your decision.

I have been on both sides of the dilemma, here is my story…

I am 22 years old and have two children under the age of two. When I got pregnant with my children I had a couple of people including my partner pressurising me into having an abortion. I was totally against the idea at this point and considered it but eventually realised at the time I was not capable of going through with it. My partner threatened to leave me and I would be left alone. I was scared! However, I decided to keep both children both times and thank God that I did so they are beautiful children. My partner never left me and we are as strong as ever. (I’m not saying it would work out for everyone, I was lucky but at the end of the day I am the one raising these children and I don’t regret my decisions for a minute.)

However, about two weeks ago I was faced with the opposite dilemma. Now me and my partner are both students, don’t live together and are not flushed with money by any means. I find it hard dividing my time equally between my two children and get little or no time for myself. I had come off the pill due to migraines and was waiting for my period to have the contraceptive implant. We had sex in the mean time but the condom split. Within 12 hours I took the morning after pill… it was not effective and my period never came. The pregnancy test was positive and I was terrified. This time my situation was different, I was not ready for another child. My partner and I made a mutual decision that abortion was the right step for us at this time.

So I got a referral from the doctor and called Marie Stopes for an appointment. In the mean time I read accounts from people online who had had the medical abortion and was shocked and scared. I was 6 weeks pregnant. When I got there, there were protesters outside trying to convince me not to ‘kill my child’. I still went ahead for the abortion.

I took the first pill and went home. Didn’t feel any different. I didnt feel guilt and was still sure it was what i wanted to do. The next day I took the remaining 4 pills. Nothing happened for 3 days! I have now passed my pregnancy and there was no cramping… just heavy bleeding and blood clots. I feel totally fine within myself and am still happy with my choice.

I have now have the implant fitted and am protected for 3 years.

I posted this to give a more light view of abortion. If you are about to go through this then please don’t be scared… every woman is different and I’m proof that it doesn’t have to be a ‘horrific’ experience.

Hope this was of some help to some one.

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Literally laughed through the procedure

by VanessaLove11

Ok first off, dont be scared to get an abortion.

“ITS BAD. IT HURTS YOU. YOU’LL BE SAD.”

F that. It all depends on your beliefs on abortion and what you think is wrong and right.

I got pregnant around this time last year. First thing I did after I saw that positive pregnancy test was called and called abortion clinics.

My doctor dilated me. Felt like period cramps for 5 minutes.

Went back the next day, and got the best drugs I’ve ever had.

I literally laughed through the procedure. Not that i think its funny but god damn those drugs are incredible.

Went home. Couldn’t have sex for 3 weeks.

And I was back to normal.

Abortions are safer then labor.

WHAT SUCKS-
-being pregnant for those 8 weeks.
oh god. worse experience of my LIFE. morning sickness, no energy, nausiated 24/7. it was HORRIBLE. but the day after the abortion you gain everything back and its AMAZING!

-the cost.
abortions are pricey.

TAKE MY ADVICE!!!

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