By Kat (Texas)

I had my first abortion at 17, a few weeks before my state made it mandatory for minors to inform their parent/guardian. I was smarter than average, prettier than average, but with the shit self-esteem that comes from being a teen. I’d also borne witness to a lot of family dysfunction and domestic violence. So of course, I was ripe pickin’ for a smarter than average, popular, manipulative, denigrating, and violent boy. We were the same age but he’d been skipped a grade and was in college already. He first hit me after we’d been dating a few months. He apologized, swore it wouldn’t happen again, and I believed him. After all, being smarter than average didn’t negate my upbringing. He didn’t hit constantly, just often enough to remind me. We had unprotected sex on a few occasions, though generally it was protected. I got pregnant. When I told him about it, he locked me in his room in an otherwise empty dormitory (it was over the summer, and he was such a great guy he’d been given this position of running facets of freshmen orientation for the incoming students). While I was locked in there for two days he beat me worse than ever and added rape to his repertoire. When he slept I got the keys from him and got out, then walked a few miles on broken toes to a friend’s house (he was clever in his abuse, so he rarely hurt me in casually visible spots). I didn’t have money to entirely pay for the abortion myself, so I had to steal half of it from him. He didn’t react well. It led to some chase scenes through the streets as he was hunting me down. But I did successfully get away from him and get the abortion, and I was incredibly grateful for it. It didn’t hurt, and the staff was so kind. I recovered for a couple of days at my friend’s. The sister of my friend wound up telling people about seeing me battered and recovering, so eventually all of our mutual friends dropped him from our social circle once they learned of it.

While I did not magically develop self-respect overnight, it certainly paved the way. I was able to start college myself a few weeks later and I didn’t stop until I got my Master’s. I’m currently pursuing my Ph. D. part-time with a burgeoning career in a field I love. Most likely none of this would have happened had I not aborted. In fact, I would probably have stayed with him at least a few years more, worked menial jobs, and lived with the abuse, all while he received his degree from his ritzy college. And then our kid could have borne witness to the dysfunction and violence, no doubt experiencing plenty of the beatings first-hand. When the marriage was over I would be left as the sole care-taker of a small child, I would have no higher education, I would have little valuable job skills, and I would have no sense of self-worth. Of course, this would have made me ripe pickin’ for the next manipulative asshole who came along. Which would have completely replicated my mother’s experience as a teen mom.

Since then, I have had one miscarriage and one more abortion. I have been so thankful for all three stopped pregnancies (while not my incredible fertility). I’ve made the decision to not have kids, though I’m a very involved aunt and godmother. And although often it has been an awful, chaotic mess, I now love my life. I am exactly where I want to be.

by Annyon Miss (British Columbia)

I’m 40 now, and had an abortion over 10 years ago.  I was embarrassed at the time to have become pregnant, as I am a nurse, and nurses should ‘know better’.  Just proves anyone can make a mistake!

I get really annoyed when people try to guilt women about abortions by saying things like ‘you might never have another baby’ or ‘how can you kill little Johny’s sibling’.  It was early in my relationship, and, had I carried to term, I probably would have wound up a single mom.  I certainly would not have the two beautiful children that I have today.

I always knew that I only wanted two children, and, had I carried the first pregnancy to term, I would not have even conceived my beautiful daughter four years ago.  There is no way that I can justify trading my daughter for some stranger that I conceived by accident.

I strongly believe that every child has the absolute right to be wanted by both parents.  Both of my children have that.

Thanks, abortion, for giving both my children the knowledge that they are absolutely loved and wanted by their mother and father.

by Grateful (Texas)

When I was 19 I got pregnant by my abusive boyfriend, whom I was in the process of trying to leave. We had been together for about 2 years and in that time frame he had destroyed my life, my relationship with my family, my credit, and my self-esteem. He knew how to control me and he used whatever leverage he had to keep me under his thumb. Once I was finally able to escape him (literally – move to an address he had no knowledge of, with no car, no friends, none of my belongings, no money and barely a new job), he started harassing me at my job to hurt me that way. Eventually I succumbed to his demands to see him so that he would stop harassing me at work and I could keep my job. Sex wasn’t optional and I’m sure you can imagine he wasn’t willing to use a condom. I had previously been on birth control, but because of my bad relationship with my family (who I hadn’t talked to in months), my parents took me off their health insurance and I couldn’t afford birth control. I didn’t know anything about places like Planned Parenthood that offer free or low-cost birth control to women in-need.

So there I was pregnant – by a man I hated, who was unemployed, uneducated, had no prospects, and came from an incredibly dysfunctional and abusive family. I barely had a waitressing job, no car, was living paycheck to paycheck, sharing a one bedroom apartment with a woman I barely knew, had dropped out of college because of this guy, and destroyed all of my relationships with friends and family because of this guy. Like I said, I hadn’t talked to my parents in months, but at that moment I knew I had nowhere else to go and nothing left to lose.

Basically, I showed up on my mom’s front door – pregnant, alone, desperate, broke, and broken. My mom opened the door and we both started crying. I told her everything. And then she cried more. She never wanted this for me. My mom got pregnant when she was sixteen and didn’t have any choices. Her parents forced her to get married to my dad – and they had to give up so much for me. She tried so hard to keep me on the right track and make sure that I made the most of opportunities. On top of everything else I was feeling, I felt so disappointed in myself – for letting someone put me in that situation, for taking my life for granted, for letting down my mom and for taking all my parents had sacrificed for me for granted. I could see all her dreams for me draining from her heart.

I asked her, if she was me what would she do, and she said, “I’d have an abortion.” That was all I needed. My mom has loved me so much, gone to the ends of the earth to provide for me and has always wanted the best for me. We talked about our faith (we’re Catholic) and what she would think of me. I couldn’t ask for a better friend or a better mom. She was absolutely amazing. I couldn’t believe that after all I had put her through, her giving up her childhood for me, my selfish teenage years, and then the way I treated her because of this guy, that she would just take me back, take me in and take care of me – but she did, like only a mother can. It also meant a lot because when she was pregnant with me she didn’t have a choice, but she should have. I say that as her living daughter, but had she had an abortion who’s to say that she wouldn’t have gone on to do amazing world changing things bigger than me, and that she wouldn’t have had me at a later time in her life. She’s an amazing, intelligent, strong women, without me she could have changed the world – I’m sure.

So, I had made my decision with the support of my mother, in prayer with our God, and I called the guy. I told him my decision and all he did was call me a bitch – very compassionate man you can see. I hung up the phone at that moment and didn’t talk to him again. I made my appointment and my mom took me to the health clinic two days later. It was like a normal outpatient surgery. I got in did my paperwork, got the consent and risk information from the nurse, talked to the counselor about my decision and about other options. Talked to the doctor, did my ultrasound, saw the image, started my anesthesia and then the procedure. There was no real pain, just some initial discomfort, similar to getting a cervical exam but a little more intense. Then I fell asleep. A short while later I woke up in the recovery room, a nurse was there to help me wake up and get oriented with my surroundings. Once I was comfortable they began the discharge process. Then my mom took me home. I slept for the next day and after a day and half I was fully recovered.

Once it was done, I thought about my decision and wondered if I had done the right thing. I had, but I think whenever you make any decision that big you will always wonder. I vowed that my decision wouldn’t be in vain and that if I was willing to end a life for the sake of mine I better damn well do something with it. I did.

Over the next few months I got my life back together. I stayed away from the guy, mended my relationship with my family, and went back to school. The abortion is what kept me motivated. I couldn’t waste this second chance I’d been given. Eventually I graduated college, got a good job, went back to school, and got a masters degree. Today, I’m 30 years old, still don’t have any children (but plan to one day), am pursuing a PhD and have a great job.

I’ve never regretted my decision, not for one moment. You don’t hear enough of these stories but the truth is, I had an abortion and my life is better because of it. If I had continued the pregnancy I would have been stuck with that loser, in poverty, with a child I couldn’t take care, being abused, never finished college, and maybe even dead. I love my life, I’m so grateful for it. It probably seems ironic, but my abortion brought me closer to my family and to God, and made me appreciate and value life even more.

I’m 22 and my boyfriend is 26. I found out that I was 5 weeks pregnant last Friday. I pondered my choices but ultimately knew in my heart/gut that an abortion was right for me.

Like a few girls on here, I grew up thinking that abortion was wrong. I couldn’t accept the fact that I was indeed pregnant and was in denial about it.

I had my mind made up after my sister-in-law and I waited in the ER for 7.5 hours.

I discussed it with my boyfriend. He was on board with whatever I wanted to do. However, me being the worst girlfriend ever, I made him out to be the “bad guy” and expressed to my family that he was anti-baby/wanted an abortion. I did this to get their reaction. Overall, it wasn’t good and went forth with the abortion. To “cover-up” the abortion, I lied again to my family saying that I miscarried.

Sick, I know. But my motives were meant to be good. I wanted to protect my family’s feelings. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

I was finally able to be honest with myself as well with my family and although this decision/lies had torn us apart, I feel 100% better about it and wouldn’t have done it any other way.

Thanks to abortion, I can live my life without interruption and continue with school and work and my relationship with my boyfriend. A lot of life lessons were learned throughout this past week or so, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

by Syd (Virginia)

I am going to have my 2nd abortion tomorrow. Even though I have done it before, I can’t help but be nervous, not scared just nervous. For woman who are scared of the physical aspect of it, it’s not bad at all. The most uncomfortable part is when they open your vagina like a pap.

I barely felt the shot, and the actual abortion just felt like medium period cramps; nothing to be stressed or scared about. I am only 20 years old and think that I have a general pain tolerance, so if you have had a pap than this is definitely bearable. And it’s true, you feel tremendous relief afterwards, I remember I cried afterwards because of how relieved I was. That night I was out with my friends, and healed very fast. In fact, right afterwards my boyfriend and I went to out to eat.

The most comforting thing during the procedure is the nurse holding your hand, the doctor is very nice, and so is the nurse. She asked me about my hobbies, and what I liked to do, and by the time I could say “this is uncomfortable, when will it be over?” They said “we’re done!”. Don’t regret it one bit, and am happy that I have this choice, because I do not want to be a mom right now, I have a career to focus on. If you’re scared of the pain that’s not a good reason to not have one, because it’s really not bad.