By Jessica (Pennslyvania)
I knew the moment I got pregnant that abortion seemed like a more likely option than continuing the pregnancy. Not because I wasn’t in a healthy, happy, amazing relationship (2 months away from our wedding). Not because I don’t (and haven’t always) wanted children, and not because he didn’t want children as well. I just wasn’t ready to be a mother physically, mentally, emotionally, or financially. I’m in graduate school, he recently had a career change (to a far less lucrative profession), and we had no intentions of having a baby any time soon. I had a copper IUD placed 2 years prior to this pregnancy and I put up with heavy, irregular, excruciating periods for the safety of “99+%” effectiveness.
I think the fact that I had put so much (time, money, effort) into staying baby-free made my decision a tiny bit easier—but not much. The idea of terminating a pregnancy that was the product of love, passion, commitment and all the mushy things that everyone tells you babies are made of was agonizing. But the idea of struggling financially, giving up any hopes of finishing my degree anytime soon (and thus pushing back even further any possibility of my getting a legitimate job), after experiencing an additional 7 and half months of what was already a painful pregnancy was also unbearable.
Most people I told about my pregnancy urged me to “keep the baby” because “life works itself out.” And, you know, I think that it always does but I don’t think that means that I shouldn’t continue to seek out the path I want for myself and my future family. “Working out” doesn’t always mean that a woman should struggle unnecessarily and abandon her goals to have a baby she’s not prepared to carry or parent right now.
I had a surgical abortion at 7.5 weeks without sedation. While it was painful and scary it only lasted for 5-7 minutes and gave me back the opportunity to support and provide for a stable, loving family when the time comes.